In these times of rampant lawlessness it is essential to keep our children safe at all times, this is not only out on the streets but also in our fine educational establishments. That is why we can only applaud the action of headmaster Dave Forshaw from Cardinal Heenan High School in Liverpool.

He suspended 12-year-old Joel [...]]]>

In these times of rampant lawlessness it is essential to keep our children safe at all times, this is not only out on the streets but also in our fine educational establishments. That is why we can only applaud the action of headmaster Dave Forshaw from Cardinal Heenan High School in Liverpool.

He suspended 12-year-old Joel Bradley after he was caught red-handed dealing in banned substances on school premises. The school took immediate action after they discovered the pupil, who is allegedly part of a cartel within the school, was dealing in not only crisps but also sugary drinks and even chocolate.

When apprehended he had in his possession no less than six packets of Discos, which sell at a “street price” of 50p within school grounds, allowing the dealer to pocket a clear 15p mark-up per packet. The school alleged that Joel may have been making as much as £15 per day from his dubious activities. The school did not divulge which flavours were involved.

In his defense Joel had only state that classic get out clause for all 12 year old felons. “other kids do it”

The problem started when the school introduced a very strict policy of allowing only healthy foods to be sold or consumed on the premises. This led to the closure of a nearby local “tuck-shop”, this was in turn replaced by Joel’s father who parked his van outside school and sold kids the offending foodstuffs.

He was eventually chased away by the school authorities, only to be replaced in classic mobster fashion by his younger and more ruthless son, who audaciously moved the dealing into the schoolyard.